What Does “Open Relationship” Actually Mean?

An open relationship is basically like saying, "Hey, I love you, but I also want to occasionally make out with Chad from kickball." It means you and your partner have agreed—yes, AGREED, not "oops, I tripped and fell into someone’s DMs"—to allow romantic or sexual connections outside your relationship.

Now, in the swinging community, this often means couples explore these connections together. It could be swapping partners, playing in the same room, or tag-teaming a very sweaty Saturday night. But here’s the deal: open doesn’t mean anything goes. There are rules, boundaries, and probably a shared Google Calendar involved.

Is an Open Relationship… Healthy?

Okay, time for the truth: an open relationship can be healthy. Or it can be a slow-moving dumpster fire. Just like a monogamous relationship, it depends on the people in it.

Here’s what healthy looks like:

• You talk. A LOT. Like more than you ever thought was humanly possible.

• You trust each other not to break the rules you’ve set.

• You both actually want it. Not “I’m doing this so you won’t leave me,” but “Hey, this sounds cool for both of us.”

If you’re communicating clearly, respecting boundaries, and checking in emotionally, then congratulations! You’re doing the thing! You’re flying the freak flag with style.

If, however, one of you is secretly plotting to stab Chad from kickball, you might want to pause and have a heart-to-heart before the knives come out (literally or metaphorically).

Can You Handle an Open Relationship?

Let’s play a quick game of “Is this for me?”

1. Do you feel excited at the idea of sharing new experiences with your partner (and maybe some new people too)?

2. Are you okay talking about your feelings without spiraling into a jealous rage or throwing a toaster?

3. Can you separate sex from love without it turning into an existential crisis?

4. Are you good at setting and respecting boundaries, even when things get spicy?

If you answered “yes” to most of these, congrats—you might just be emotionally evolved enough to handle this like a pro.

But if your inner monologue sounds like, “I’d rather chew tinfoil than see my partner flirting with someone else,” then friend, this journey might not be for you. And that’s okay. Monogamy isn’t a failure—it’s just a different flavor of relationship.

What’s the Point of All This?

Honestly? The point is whatever you two decide it is.

For some, it’s about keeping things spicy. (And I mean cayenne pepper on a jalapeño spicy.) For others, it’s about freedom, connection, and exploring sexuality in a way that feels authentic. Some couples feel more bonded after shared experiences. Others just like attending hotel takeovers with hot tubs and themed costumes. (Pirate Night gets WILD, by the way.)

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. The point is more options, not less love. An open relationship doesn’t mean your connection is broken—it just means you want to experience the world beyond it together or with clear consent.

Wait… Is This Cheating or Not?

Ah, the million-dollar question.

If you both agreed to it, set boundaries, and stick to them—nope, it’s not cheating.

But if one of you is sneaking around, lying, or bending the rules like a used car dealer trying to sell a rust bucket? That’s still cheating. Open doesn’t mean lawless. It just means you’re playing a different game—one that still needs rules, respect, and a whole lot of honesty.

Remember: cheating isn’t about sex. It’s about betrayal. And betrayal stings just as much whether it happens in a polyamorous commune or a small town in Kansas.

Final Thoughts from Your Sexual Sherpa

An open relationship in the swinging community can be exciting, fulfilling, and genuinely fun. It can also be confusing, emotional, and way more complex than people think. It’s not about “free love” or turning your relationship into a reality show (although, wow, would I watch that).

It’s about curiosity, trust, and growth.

So if you’re climbing that mountain—hand in hand, lube in backpack—just make sure you’ve got your emotional hiking boots on. But for the right couple? It’s one hell of a view.