Frequently Underasked Questions (FUQs)

Q: What is swingers/ENM lifestyle coaching?
A: Swingers/ENM lifestyle coaching provides guidance, education, and support for individuals and couples exploring consensual non-monogamy. Our coaching helps you navigate boundaries, communication, and relationship dynamics in a healthy and fulfilling way.

Q: Why Do I Need a Lifestyle Coach?
A: Put simply, the end result of the lifestyle is fun at a level that’s hard to imagine. But the process of getting there can be bumpy, anxiety-provoking, and oftentimes people say they feel vulnerable and unsure as they expand their relationships and open up their sexual exploration. Our coaching helps put you on more solid ground, and avoid those glaring red flags 🚩🚩 that show up far too often in the process of finding new play partners.

Q: Is this coaching only for experienced swingers and non-monogamists?
A: No! Whether you're new to the lifestyle or have experience, our coaching is tailored to your needs, ensuring a safe and enjoyable journey. Sexual Sherpas works with couples looking to open their relationships, those exploring ethical non-monogamy and polyamory, and individuals looking to open up to different sexual experiences. We work with singles, couples and small groups.

Q: Do you offer in-person or online sessions?
A: Most of our coaching sessions are done online. We do offer in-person coaching sessions in select areas of Southern California.

Privacy & Discretion

Q: Is my information kept confidential?
A: We prioritize privacy and confidentiality in all our coaching sessions. Your personal details will never be shared.

Q: We’re worried about people in our real life finding out about this. How do we stay discreet in the lifestyle?
A: We provide guidance on maintaining privacy, including choosing safe spaces, online anonymity, and balancing personal and social lives. We can help you choose the right apps and technologies to ensure you can stay as discreet as you desire. But ask us about the time a couple ran into the husband’s boss at a swing club...

Q: Pssst, look, don’t say anything, but I want to cheat on my spouse, can you help with that?

Absolutely, just go to GTFOH Lane and make a left.

We don’t help cheaters as that goes against our entire ethos of ETHICAL non-monogamy. Good luck to you. Hope you don’t get caught. Actually, we hope you do.

Events & Community

Q: Do you recommend events or lifestyle clubs?
A: As part of finding the best fit for you, we offer insights into reputable events and clubs that align with your interests and comfort level. But more importantly, we offer guidance on which clubs to avoid!

Q: How do we prepare for our first event?
A: Our coaching includes tips on etiquette, expectations, boundary setting, rule clarification and how to make the most of your first experience in the lifestyle.

Relationship & Communication

Q: How can we set healthy boundaries in the lifestyle?
A: Setting boundaries is arguably the most important objective in your lifestyle/ENM journey. Our coaching sessions focus on identifying your personal and relationship boundaries and establishing open communication to ensure mutual respect and enjoyment. But here’s a super important part - it’s not just about setting boundaries, it’s about making sure you communicate those boundaries and other people respect them. We’ve got you covered there.

Q: What if my partner and I have different levels of interest in swinging?
A: This is a common concern! We help couples navigate differences in desire, comfort levels, and expectations to find a path that works for both partners. It’s also quite common for those levels and desires to change as you continue your exploration.

Q: How do we talk to others in the lifestyle?
A: We provide tips and strategies for confident communication, from approaching others at events to online interactions. Depending on the location of your event, you can also bring a Sexual Sherpa to be your wingman/wingwoman for the evening. We will discuss your goals and needs before assigning you an in-person Sherpa.

Getting Started

Q: How do we book a coaching session?
A: You can schedule a FREE 15-minute consultation session via our website’s booking page. We will discuss your goals and determine if the Sexual Sherpas are the right guides for your needs.

If you are certain you want to work with us, purchase the introduction package and book in your time in our appointment calendar.

Q: Do you offer group coaching or workshops?
A: Yes! What kind of lifestyle coaching service would we be if we didn’t offer group work ;) We host workshops, group discussions, and private coaching tailored to different levels of experience in the lifestyle.

General Questions

Is There A Doctor In the House?

Q: Are you licensed sex therapists/psychologists?

No. Our service does not offer medical advice. We are a coaching and guidance service with decades of experience under our belts, here to help those looking to explore new sexual and relationship lifestyles.

Q: I’ve tested positive for an STI, does that mean I can’t join the lifestyle or my time in the lifestyle is over?

While having an STI will change how you interact with others in the lifestyle, as we strongly recommend an honesty is the best policy approach, there are plenty of other people navigating the same path. One of the areas that has seen the most destigmatization over the last half decade is the discussion around STIs and getting rid of using the words “clean” or “dirty." Folks that have tested positive often put that info early in their online profiles, so potential matches can determine their fit accordingly. Sexual Sherpa always stresses the importance of safe sex and sexual health. You are always within your rights to ask for a potential partner’s STI results. If they choose not to share them, that may shape part of your decision-making process.

Online Dating Sucks

Q: Is anyone having success with online dating? Yes, plenty of people are. But let’s be honest. It’s not fun. If you aren’t making yourself stand out, you’re just one of the herd. How you present yourself changes how others see you. It’s why we offer a profile re-write service.

Q: Why am I not meeting anyone online?

Pssst…gonna let you in on a little secret, its not them, it’s you.

And you may not even know why. The energy and effort you put in your profile bio and your photo selection is the energy you’re attracting back. So often, people don’t realize their profiles are painting them in a negative light.

All of our profile edits are made with your specific needs and wants expressed clearly and aligned with your personality, so you can attract those you’re most looking to connect with.

Turning curiosity into confidence, and fantasies into reality!